The Last Days

I don't know what to say. 

I feel bittersweet about the semester being over. 

I'm happy to have made it to this point, the finish line is clearer that it was in September, but I'm not sure what happens after that. Graduate school or employment or both? I won't see may of you when it's over either, I have enjoyed learning with you and from you. 
I'm grateful for this class and learning style, I might have missed it as some will, I feel I'm an an advantage for having gone through it. 

I will leave you with a quote that sums up the self assessment we have been exposed to this semester in a way that resonates with me~

Artsy Fartsy

Yeah, I have to get honest again. 

My life prior to BSW was artsy fartsy. I took a lot of art classes like printmaking and photography and got my first BA in theater. As of 2002, I have been a practicing massage therapist as well. I turned my creative energy into a comprehensive massage therapy practice, it was easier as a single mom to make my own hours than lugging my kids to auditions and late night rehearsals (sometimes into the a.m.). So I put all that art on the back burner and went about my life as a massaging mom thinking about other routes of economic improvement while continuing to do what I love. I started in xray at SMCC thinking it would be kind of artsy by taking photo's and placing people in position for them, and there would be stability in the medical field, the whole aspect of helping people too. I was wait listed for about two years to get in that program. First week of classes we were told "good luck finding a job when you are done in 2 years, there aren't any." Well I'm not a quitter, nor do I let myself be shaken too hard normally so I kept on. First semester you are shooting people with radiation. Half-way through it I knew it wasn't the job I would be happy in and feel like I was really doing something giving. Xray is one of the biggest money makers for hospitals, a lot of unnecessary exposure happens. You see people for 5 minutes at a time for the most part, barely get a sentence in with them and they are gone. It's too removed, I'm a feeler and I needed a little more substance in my work. I knew that changing my route was the best thing. 

I enjoy doing hospice massage, my eldest client (101 at passing) thus far dubbed me "massage artist." One day I was in one room of this hospice clients house massaging her, and in the next room was her son in law who was now dying. The social worker was there and they were discussing his own funeral plans etc, the worker was checking in on the family one last time. I went home and started researching what job that was. I enjoy helping people feel good as they are making their way out, I could spin it for a career in social work. To get that job I needed another degree, so here I am. This semester my artsy got massaged again. I can see now that my theater and art classes and all of it can be utilized to do good. Full circle, I have come full circle and it might have taken me longer to do that had I not had the opportunity to learn in this style. 

So here we go, all hopeful and scared and excited~

Sacajawea

Ok blog universe, I needed a breather from the baseball bat to the teeth I felt I got when the truth was revealed I'm referring to the article:
http://killermartinis.kinja.com/why-i-make-terrible-decisions-or-poverty-thoughts-1450123558
we were sent this piece about being poor and the subsequent article about it being bullshit. Yep, I swore and I'm not a real big swearer type most of the time but this big ball of deception on that chic's part just burned me. I was all into the article, unfortunately (up for debate) mostly relating to it. I'm that person who has lived most of my life riding the poverty line. I felt sorry for her and my sympathy for her had little to do with every experience she had, my sympathy was only in the sharing of the feeling of oppression. Then come to find out, I wasn't sharing...my feeling was stolen as was revealed in this article: http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2013/11/that_viral_poverty_thoughts_es.php
Now I'm not one to go throwing my life story out there for my peers or anyone else to dissect, that was part of my sympathy too, I was rooting her on for her bravery in honesty. What I need to do now is to dissect what she wrote and let you know how I relate to it, I will be the brave and honest one!

The title alone  "Why I Make Terrible Decisions, or, poverty thoughts" Can that be any more of a stereotype...(enter sarcasm) of course everyone in poverty is there due to their own terrible decision making....

Her first statement is "rest is a luxury for the rich." As a mom, rest is a luxury for the childless.

Next she mentions 12/$2 burritos, when I fed myself and my daughter on $30 a week I sure would have loved that $12 deal to be a real option.

"We have learned not to try too hard to be middle-class." She lost me, I can't relate at all to being complacent. Sometimes you fake it till you make it.

The urge to propagate??? She may be a breeder of bad taste!

"We will never not be poor, it doesn't give us much reason to improve ourselves." I may not have money for many extra's but I will one day have more...or I won't...it will not determine my self determination and I will never stop improving myself regardless of my economic status.

"Free only exists for rich people." I know a lot of tricks for finding free or nearly free (freecycle for example) and I'm sure there are more I don't know.

On her smoking addiction she says: "It is the only relaxation I am allowed. It is not a good decision, but it is the only one that I have access to." Well as a former smoker and as a health care practitioner I have to say that you have to find your own relaxation, if you have 5 minutes to smoke then you have 5 minutes to meditate~

"I will never not be poor, so what does it matter if I don't pay a thing and a half this week instead of just one thing?" I have better credit than a lot of my friends that have lot's of money, that's my savior in all this. If I need a $10,000 loan, I can get it. I have had to create debt for myself for many reasons including paying lawyers to fight for my family out of divorce and won, but I am far from sunk and I will continue to do what it takes to hopefully preserve my fall back.

"You go to these people who make you feel lovely for an hour that one time, and that's all you get. You're probably not compatible with them for anything long-term, but right this minute they can make you feel powerful and valuable" Can we put away the "all poor women are sluts" card please? Being poor has nothing to do with being slutty or not. How about those women who lay down with someone they secretly disgust over just to keep the closet filled...just sayin.

Finally she uses the words "This is what our lives are like, and here are our defense mechanisms, and here is why we think differently." Well, it sure isn't what my life has been like etc. etc. 

In the end it was a load, of nothingness. I felt sympathy for her yet that is the last thing I would ever want from someone who heard my life story. Instead I seek self fulfillment and appreciation for being me and living who I am. Yeah, I may have less in my bank account than a whole lot of people, but I am very rich in my life in many ways that matter so much more.

Won't You Be My Neighbor~

WOW World Neighbor's, as read in chapter 33, is doing really great things...and I've never heard of them! One of my favorite things they do is an environmental piece and the belief that "sustainable development is a process that local people themselves must lead."
(pg 710).


It makes sense, if the community members don't have their hands in it, how can they be invested enough in it to continue to make it work beyond implementation. One of the best classes I ever took was Crimes Against the Environment in the criminology dept. at USM. I learned so much about our planet and our own accountability in the sustainability of our earth. I really took for granted so much, one of the easiest things we can do is to put everything that plugs into regular outlets on power strips.

You keep the strip off when you aren't using for instance a lamp, and you will see your power bill go down. When I started doing this I bought four $5 power strips at the evil "W" (Walmart, which is an oxymoron in trying to live protecting the planet and so many other levels that I can't get into right now), anyway in the first month I saw my bill go down $10 and the next month even more as I got into the habit of using them and making sure they were off when I wasn't using the lamp etc. The strips paid for themselves within three months! The trick is making using them and turning that red switch off a habit. Give it a shot and remember that human's generally need at least a month to form habits, or routines that are new, even those that are positive!

Another aspect that caught my eye was on pg 720 where they talk about holistic programming. As a massage therapist I practice my work with clients with a holistic mindset.










For example, the client as a whole person is addressed and not just the injury they come in with. When the individual and all aspects of their sustainability are focused on, a successful outcome is achieved. This takes effort, the individual or community members have to be actively involved in the process. I have massage clients who never change anything about their lives that would better it including their mental and physical health. Some have back problems and weight issues, some have alcoholism in their family. While it's hard to watch people hurting themselves and not be able to fix it, for that hour they are with me they are practicing holistic well-being and that means a whole lot.

Three to four years ago, I was a lot tamer about all of this planetary and holistic well-being sustainability stuff. I knew a lot, but I wasn't very invested in implementing any big changes for my own life. Now, I have a long way to go to embody all that I want for myself and my family but it's about the journey...and I'm diggin it!

Shameless self plug:
https://sites.google.com/site/akneadedsolution/

World Neighbors on the web:
http://www.wn.org/site/c.buITJ7NRKsLaG/b.6248395/k.651C/World_Neighbors_Home.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl2HbtjQQqk

Holistic Massage info:
http://www.massagetherapy.com/articles/index.php/article_id/1830/Dimensions-of-Holistic-Massage

Save the planet and your pocket:
http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/latest/power-strips-for-chargers#slide-15

Flic "Walmart: The High Cost of Low Prices"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jazb24Q2s94

Room For One More

On my soap box today so tread with caution :)
Chapters 28-31 reach beyond our borders in the U.S. and speak about global issues. As I started to dive in, the immigration debate came into mind. I believe we are all one, it's one world, one globe. Yes, we have differences across man-made borders and natural made waterways but fundamentally we all need to breathe in clean oxygen, we all need enough nourishment, we all need adequate housing, we all need each other to come full circle on what it is we need. When people talk about shutting out immigrants and or refugee's, it worries me for the global picture of poverty. I mean the government shut down down for what amounts to not very long and that affected a whole lot of people! Some people come here because they have a much greater chance of dying where they are. Let's say our country decides that's it, no more outsiders from wherever for any given amount of time. An unfortunate chain of events happens here and we need help, who would help us? We, the United States who stand united in not helping others out? It's sort of like holding the smoking gun, telling someone they have to be where they are and risk death solely because of where they were born. Some people don't think we can help anyone else because we aren't helping enough of "our own" when really, this is a stolen country, so who the heck is "our own?" Imagine this country putting up a huge fence that went from the the northern border of Minnesota to the southern tip of Louisiana. and only the top 15% (thought I'd offer a generous percentage) of incomes were allowed on one side, the rest on the other. I can imagine it. Some families would be broken up, they didn't make it in time to cross over or they had family members that didn't meet that 15%. Fast forward and those on the 15% side are doing awesome, they have everything they need, they systematically strip the other side for it's resources like food and clothing, so they don't have to work for them. They were letting "certain people" across the fence but have decided to stop. Now the other side is very unsafe most places, disease spreads, etc. etc. until this begins to trickle into the 15% side. There aren't enough able bodied, able minded people left to keep up with the demands the 15% side has, it could have been avoided...hmmmm sounds familiar.

The problem is that global poverty on all levels could be extinguished but it's not. Pg 620 talks about how money transfers make a difference, they improve communities on multiple levels, yet a large portion of the population wants to tighten the handcuffs on poverty stricken communities by encouraging less than adequate available services. There aren't enough law makers out there who are invested in global issues. We need a viable planet to live on first. Our natural resources are being poisoned, stripped, depleted, extinguished forever. For a species that gives little attention to the seemingly not so critical issue of the health of our planet, how could I expect much more when it comes to humans? Soils that once provided income for poor farmers are useless now. Water that once provided hydration for poor families is toxic. We all contribute to that, through products we buy and the waste we produce as we over consume etc. More people doing well=a healthier global society.

Cancer and Meat Consumption, Book:
http://www.aicr.org/about/advocacy/the-china-study.html
Meat Production and Greenhouse Gases:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=the-greenhouse-hamburger
Global Planetary Crisis: An Inconvenient Truth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLvK5bbNd7E
On Curing Global Poverty:
http://www.trueactivist.com/worlds-100-richest-could-end-global-poverty-4-times-over/

What?!

There is so much I don't know, that I wish I already did. Reading the article we were emailed from our instructor:

Black History’s Missing Chapters

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/20/arts/television/the-african-americans-many-rivers-to-cross-on-pbs.html?_r=0

...made me just that much more of a WISHer. I vaguely remember Roots, I would have been five-years old when it aired. This was a series that rivets me in sadness today. In this clip, you can get an idea of how powerful in emotion the series was: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7NABoP49gI





Roots had a superb cast, and direction that current TV fails to deliver. Sorry, but too many of us have gotten too out of touch with reality TV the mainstay for "entertainment." I'm excited that someone is finally doing something now, years later, that will showcase African American History in a series on PBS. I only wish it were on TV channels like 6/8 or 13. Showcasing our history in a light that actually tells some truth, but the American past, isn't everyone's past. Yes, we are all humans with a past that's interconnected. I feel like if I say American past then it's like I'm diminishing something . We are only taught American History already, but in reality it's a very skewed White Male American History. Wiki gives a paragraph to "slavery" and "Indian removal." There needs to be a more rounded education with African and Indian etc. depicted and highlighted equally. I mean I may very well have had slave owner(s) in my family history just as much as I may have had family member(s) who assisted with the underground railroad or neither, I will probably never know. In today's world and the climate of multiculturalism in our communities, a series or multiples of series, showcasing many cultures would be helpful and would be the right thing to do. Maybe it's time for a revised Roots, updated and even more intensely telling. I would love to see Roots the play produced. Drawing from the first paragraph in this article I see "Even a tiny slice of recent history — the civil rights movement — is not required teaching in most states." WHAT?! I mean, I have no words. I'm pissed, that my only offerings were from a very biased white place, maybe if more kids were taught about the bigotry and violence that has been forced upon these communities, there would be a little less tendency toward discrimination maybe even a lot less. A little less is way better than none in my book. When Kunta Kinte has been replaced by Amber and Catelynn (Teen Mom) this vision seems far fetched.

Wikipedia on American History:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_United_States#Slavery
NY Times Article from above:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/20/arts/television/the-african-americans-many-rivers-to-cross-on-pbs.html?_r=0
Roots clip from above:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7NABoP49gI
Underground Railroad:
http://teacher.scholastic.com/activities/bhistory/underground_railroad/myths.htm

Our Changing World

     Chapter 23 grabbed my attention when I was reading on pg 503 about the various roadblocks people encounter. I was thinking about the recent debate over panhandling and whether or not to see it as a crime. While personally I wish I never encountered it, it can be weird sitting in traffic chewing on a candy bar with a panhandler standing 2 feet away, I can't see the end result of considering it criminal as a positive. I have no idea how much of that way of collecting money is exploited, are they in fact out of work or destitute at all as they claim? Seems to me that jailing someone like that will only contribute further to the problem(s) of over-run jails and poverty. I know I'm very "give peace a chance" about a lot of things but it makes more sense to have a cop get that person off the street and into a social worker's office instead.
     I have been in the car of someone who used a handicapped placard to park closer. This person was not someone you would want to argue with but in hindsight I wish I had said something. It was an older woman with back issues but there are people who have much bigger issues who should have the spot. I never thought of the implicaitons of parking in a handicapped spot, when being handicapped sometimes becomes a discriminatory means of not hiring someone for a job. If someone sees them parking there, and they appear non-handicapped, they might reach the conclusion that the person is parking illegally and ask themselves if they want to hire a person who does illegal things or they might go the route of quesitoning what else that person may be hiding if they didn't mention it in an interview and don't appear handicapped etc. etc.
     Ok ok ok, I'm getting the impression that I need to embrace the modern tech world more than ever in this line of work. I struggle, it's so unnatural that my soul get's tech overload and it wants to shut it out so it shuts me down. I think for me I just need breaks from it, I need to do something that feeds my soul for a bit then go back to tech. It totally makes sense that to reach EVERYONE possible I would have to invest time in the tech world too. Sigh~
A blog on begging:
http://blog.practicalethics.ox.ac.uk/2012/09/dont-give-money-to-beggars/

A response to someone judging a handicapped parker:
http://live.huffingtonpost.com/#r/segment/mom-responds-to-judgemental-note/521cf9a5fe344411c90000ec

It's All Me

Well this weeks, Ch. 19 has Karre Kern written all over it. I'm not really sure why cultural competence is so important to me it just is, but I can play with why...maybe it's because I don't know very much about my own family culture(s). With both parents and all grandparents gone, it's hard to nail down the info but I've started to. The part of me I'm most drawn to is the Native American side. After reading this I wonder if the lack of information on my ancestry has to do with internalized oppression. Maybe my white family members didn't embrace that side so important details about who when and where got lost along the way. Maybe there is some shame there, I mean being white and having native blood that came from native women might be from force, not choice. For a long time I admired my roots from afar, being white and blonde I questioned my own intentions because I listened to those who said it was foolish to consider that my culture because I'm "so white" in appearance. Well the older I got the more I understood myself and what would make me happy mattered more than those outsiders judging me. I think that you can be a male anatomically and identify more as a female, it's your human experience. Now I'm less worried about what other people think about what my cultural identity is. Honestly I don't look at skin color so much as I look at humans being human and sharing a human experience together.
Reading the experience with discrimination I empathized with her. I've been in positions like that myself and I know how very hard it can be to even get yourself to walk in the door let alone speak about why you are there. If you are hungry for humble pie I suggest you show up at a food pantry and pretend you are someone who needs help. Go through the whole process, maybe you can tell them at the very end you are a student in social work and you felt you needed to immerse yourself in those shoes as best you could to be a more competent social worker later on. You know the saying "until you've walked a mile in their shoes" well that's some of our service learning and field work but we are there helping not really being in that position. Whatever the area of social work that interests you the most I think the more ways to be competent the better, become that person for a little while and feel that discrimination. If it's a safety issue, then read about it. Find books on people who were or are homeless, immigrants, battered women, child abuse, whatever your passion is from the angle of clinician as well as the one wearing the shoes.
In Ch. 20 I love how technology is showing promise in helping the cause. I'm one who stumbles with it, it seems so unnatural to me so things like the story sharing that happens feeds my happy. So does the use of theater or art. I remember seeing a production on Matthew Shepard and it really made a difference being there in a room with the emotions flowing. The following film also brought many tears to my own eyes~
Native Film: Dakota 38
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pX6FBSUyQI

School Savagery

I can't get around the topic of food, it's just the way it is. The video on education was brilliant. The discussions about ADHD and ADD and our school's brought me back to my own experiences with food and how I feel the two are related. It's kind of a curse and kind of a blessing having been diagnosed with a food related disease, Celiac. I used to eat with pride all that is so bad to eat. Big Mac's were my favorite but fast food in general from KFC to Taco Bell, dollar menu my life, I should write a book! I really don't know much more about food than most people, at least I don't think I do. We all know we really should never eat these things but we figure if we do it in moderation it will be ok. Trouble is, who really does anything in moderation? We are an over indulgent society, more more more and fast fast faster are the only way to get by, get things done and get bills paid. We eat more than we need to and it costs us more than it needs to both in our health and our pockets. Food related illnesses have become big business money makers for food manufacturers and the pharmaceutical companies. I hate to sound like I'm paranoid, but it's interesting to me how one in three kids today will be diabetic and corn syrup's including high fructose are in most everything you can buy pre-packaged that isn't organic. Oh and the corn it comes from is most likely GMO, talk about a monopoly! Bring our schools into the mix and kids today seem more inclined to say they don't like to read than they are to say they don't like veggies. reading is a mellow task, high voltage diets require the action be in real time. At meal time they get fed this "cornucopia" of chemical sugar slop and are expected to sit and stay like a good dog??!! Speaking of, there are dogs that are eating better and getting better mental stimulation than children are getting?! Will a diet change make a hyperactive kid less hyperactive isn't it worth a shot? Why is it our preference is to try a pill and not consider trying a diet? Well that word alone sends shivers up and down my own spine...d i e t. RUN! Proper fuel in an engine makes it run more efficiently, kids need proper fuel too and so do I. I live for the day when an illness is diagnosed and the first thing a person tries is a different fuel, not a medication. My best food guru advice is to start reading labels and start learning what that stuff is in there. I've gotten to the point that if there is a long list I won't even weed out the ones I have problems with my illness, I put it down. Am I perfect? I'm perfectly flawed and it's hard hard hard to pass by all that so bad for you stuff when it tastes so dang good. There are times when I cave, but it's never something related to my disease, I entirely respect that certain foods will hurt my body and could kill me. In my perfect world, there would only be organic food available for kids at school and there would be different classrooms for different learning styles and plenty of exercise. In my perfect world that would translate to higher education and the barrage of food choices we drive by daily. For now I feed myself and my own son gluten-free foods and do the best we can with the brains we have and the learning style(s) we are offered~
:)

On Celiac:
http://celiacdisease.about.com/b/2009/09/17/mortality-risks-with-celiac-disease-and-latent-celiac-disease.htm
On food labels:
http://www.examiner.com/article/the-top-5-food-ingredients-to-beware-of
On sugars and health problems:
http://digitaljournal.com/article/351810
On sugars and ADD/ADHD:
http://healthyliving.msn.com/diseases/adhd/5-foods-to-feed-your-child-with-adhd%E2%80%94and-5-to-avoid-1

Community Organizing

          

While I was working this weekend I got the skinny on how the Ferry Service used community organizing to gain control of the boats. I was all excited to read about how it benefits communities then hear about how it benefitted ours! I will try to re-tell the story to the best of my ability. The ferries were at one time owned by a Greek philtopist who had no interest in the islands themselves, but sure did have an interest in money. In the early 80's this person ran the service in the hole financially, there was some corruption involved ending in bankruptcy. Although they had failed in a big way to provide service, they still wanted to keep it. Islanders weren't happy, the service was poor to begin with and this owner intended on raising rates substancially to make more money off it. Some islanders got together and finally made the plunge into court to try to gain ownership. They had no money, no money to buy boats or to be in business at all. They were able to get the services of an attorney who would only take a fee if they won. They had to show proof on paper that they had the funds to make this operation work where it had previously failed and that meant a LOT of money on paper. Big on their list was an effort to keep rates as economical as possible, something the courts did like but that doesn't help an already lacking business plan. They were again able to get a bank in Maine to offer to sell bonds and would back this unsold money on paper. WOW, so they had a free-ish- lawyer who believed in power of the people as well as a bank who did too! Well in the end they were able to kick the crook out, who was definately unable to show on paper they could make it go having had to file bankruptcy, and they were awarded official ownership. However, they still had no actual real money for boats. Until they were offered grant money to do so, yes more free, because they were non-profit. Wala, the ferries are still run by this group of islanders who banded together as a community to save what they initially felt was way out of their league. Big things do happen, baby steps do matter regardless of how big.
The toned down version is here:
 http://www.cascobaylines.com/about-us/history/

Garden Gangster

Well I'm not a blogger but I am a food guru of sorts. As a gal with Celiac disease (allergies to glutens including wheat) I'm very passionate about the food we are sold. I grew up on processed everything. I can't remember a meal that didn't have a boxed something or other in it's "recipe." Going on four years now I was diagnosed with this autoimmune disease and I feel it's linked to the foods I poisoned my body with all of my life up to then. That doesn't mean everyone get's sick, but with cancer #2 on the death list I choose for my family to keep off that roulette wheel as much as possible. If I could wave a magic wand I would eliminate high fructose (obesity rates sky rocketed after it's invasion) and msg from our food supply first. Old habits die hard, I'm not entirely out of the boxed foods but they don't contain any preservatives and while I don't steer away from chemicals in foods all together, it's maybe 10% of my diet. So I consider myself a gangster of sorts as well. I don't follow the typical American diet of easy and quick and fast anymore, even the evil Mc -word has wheat in their rotted upon production chemically infused french fries...this TED talk was entirely up my "alley." I could see myself out there doing a similar thing in my next home, if the only lawn is out front it will have food growing on it. Being a gal who grew up in a box of food, it's a work in progress with no need to draw boundaries around it. Kids are my big concern, with one in three a current or future diabetic I am greatly saddened at the lack of supportive nourishment available for too many children and adults. Big business has turned us into drones, who like robots, spend our hard earned dollars on crap food that hurts our bodies and makes more money for the other big business of prescrpiption drugs. I love the concept of gangster gardening. It is so true, when a kid is involved in the growing of the food they will want to eat it. WOW what a soap box, I guess you know something about me now and one way I would like to make a difference is with food...the Jamie Oliver of social work maybe.
:) 
If you want to know more about the food you eat watch Forks Over Knives or Food Inc., Supersize me is a fun watch too~

Forks Over Knives trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-OzTWY2J8E
Food Inc. trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eKYyD14d_0
Supersize trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1Lkyb6SU5U


.

Our World

Ok I'm not a blogger but here I am! I'm not a journal writer either and I do feel like both of these mediums help us process our "stuff" so really I should be doing this anyway. What stuck out for me this week was the video art project. I'm artsy, might not be a shocker, and I would love to come up with some kind of installation that involves emotion evolving. That's how I saw her wall, it was emotion evolving. What began as her grief, went to a place of community change. I have an interest in hospice social work so this project really meant something for me. Death is not something we are taught about in a way that involves beauty yet I saw this beautiful wall of emotion come from a place of death. Being a massage gal, I was taught that our body holds onto emotions and they materialize as ailments such as tight muscles. My personal response to the statement "before I die I want to" would be "be less anxious." Our society is so fast paced, it's work work work, deadlines this and that from bills to coursework. There is much to be anxious about, it's almost a race to death. I really try to live in the moment, but the world around me rejects that. Maybe that's a big reason why I enjoy my work in massage and with seniors, it's a time to be slow. That is probably a healthier response to the statement "be slower" versus "be less anxious" just looking at the word anxious can make you anxious reminding you of what you should be anxious about! Looking at "be slower" is an ahhhhhhh moment for me, I need to remind myself to just take it in, it's a good thing to slow it down. Installations like hers require you to be slow, to stop what you are doing and take it all in, I like that.